Copacetic or The Battle Within

Copacetic is an interesting word

It has a lot of the letter from Apathetic

And sounds quite similar at least to my ears

Websters gives the definition of Copacetic as “in excellent order”

Other definitions are given as “Completely satisfactory or OK”

Apathetic could not be more different though

“Having or showing little or no emotion”

“not interested or concerned, indifferent or unresponsive”

These 2 words cover much of the human condition to me

If you are apathetic or have an attitude of apathy

You’ll never be able to reach the feeling of being Copacetic

I’ve never quite been able to reach that feeling myself

I can quite easily say that in the past

My default setting has been apathy or borderline apathy

But i long to be copacetic

I think we all do

Easier said than done though

Lately I’ve been edging closer to it

Even as my moods swing wildly between 

Anger and despondency

I am choosing constantly to strive towards it

I’ve started working on improving myself phsyically

WHich has helped with the Mental

It gives more fuel to the fire

To continue pressing Onwards and Upwards

Towards a better me

Away from Apathy

This is my most constant battle

The striving between what i have been and what i will be

Of choosing everyday to strive forwards

This my battle within

A battle against the demons I’ve known for years

That have almost beat me time and time again

Yet I always get back up much to their chagrin

My demons can be numerous

But i have names for the worst

Depression

Apathy

Anxiety

CPTSD

Anger

Wrath

These are my constant foes

They wear me down and push me back

However they also remind me why I fight

I fight to keep others from falling prey to them

I strive to be a light in the darkness

That can see the struggle within others

Walk up and say 

I see where you’re at

Deep in that darkness deep in that pit

Let me climb down to you

I know how to get out

Lets get out together

It reminds me of a story

Of an Officer in the Military

Who kept going to a Mental Health Professional on base

Every time he would show up at the same time

He’s make sure his men knew about it and where he was going

He never talked about much and seemed perfectly fine

The Doctor asked him once why do you keep coming here week after week

He said because i want my men to know It’s ok

I want them to be able to come with courage

Knowing I come

Knowing I’ve been there

My question for you today is 

How do you fight your battles within?

Can you recognize them in others?

How do you help them?

I Personally go to both a Psychiatrist and a Therapist

I tell damn near anybody who will listen that I do

Why, though?

Because I know I Need to

Because I want to normalize it

Because I want to make it easier

Because I want to make it okay

Because I want to help others

This is how i battle my way towards being Copacetic

How do you do it?

Credit for the suggestion of “Battle Within” to Kathya Davis.

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