Almost 3 years have gone by and here i am sailing on the ocean blue
Ecig on one side margarita on the other
Noise cancelation on I’m about as lose to peace as i usually come
Deck 11 mid contemplating 11 aft
I’m grooving to my own music with the ships in the background
Wondering and contemplating the state of life
These days life isn’t is a simple as it once seemed
Bouncing back and forth between work and home with to little time in between
Do I work to live or do i live to work
Questions that haunt my mind
Whether asleep or awake
Should i stay or should i go
I want to live a better life
Free from the constraints of my current one
Free from the mental anguish be pain i subject shelf to on an almost daily basis
If i stay a retirement not easily rivaled
If i go maybe higher or lower pay
A lesser retirement
But maybe a better life
For sure i would stop contributing to my CPSTD
But i am strong enough to start over
What would i do
Where would i go
Sometimes i contemplate buying a an renovating it and living
Happy and free i do think that would be its own kind of stress for me at least
No schedule
Nowhere to fit
Nowhere to be
I think it would drive me insane
Soon i hope to try some different medications and see how i fare
Change a new medication improve my life or is that a pipe dream
Is this the best I can get or i can be more
I don’t know what life brings
Today tomorrow
A week, month or year down the road
So here is sit rambling and ranting
A madman screaming into the void
Yelling into the chasm that is reality
The space between us i hope and i pray
My life Carrie through and rings true but i know not
If it does or if i ‘m just screaming helplessly into the void
Wasting my breath
On a message
That no one hears
Should i stay or should i go
Who am i without my job
Who would i be
I doubt know anymore
As i contemplate my existence
I find more questions than answers
On this road i walk to hell or naught
I don’t know but i seek answers to questions i ask
And to questions as yet untold
I know not where this road leads
I only know it continues onward towards h horizon
Towards my eventual goals somehow some way
I March inexplicably onward
Always onward and upward
To a fate I don’t know
To fates i can only dream of
To fates i dare not hope for anymore
I march ever onward
For i cannot will not stop
I shall continue forward till my body fails
This i have promise his i shall do
Sailing on an ocean blue
Deep and treacherous
Such is life
Such am i
