Learning to love yourself

It sounds so simple when said out loud

It’s only 4 words after all

Only 22 letters

Only 6 syllables

Yet it’s still a thing that has haunted mankind

For generations

If not all of time

When your mind screams you’re not worthy

When people say hurtful things

When the intrusive thoughts

Drown out every kind thing you hear

Every kind thing you know

They all just broke whispers

In a hurricane

Whispered from across a street

It’s a question that defines us

A lesson that makes or breaks us

Surprisingly it usually starts

With forgiving yourself

For things you’ve done

And haven’t done

It starts with being who you are

With being kind to yourself

It’s long winding road

Full of pitfalls and mudslides

Never ending

Up and down around a mountain

We expect an wish for perfection

Because we see only the best

When we compare others to us

When we are deep in the throes of hating ourselves

For me part of the answer I’ve been singing to myself

Ever since I first heard it

“I am creation both haunted and holy

Made in glory

Even the depths of the night cannot blind me

When you guide me

Creature only

Look inside the depths of my heart and

Find a perilous ravine

Carved within the beauty

The darkness in between

Standing in the balance of complete and incomplete

I indeed=entity the echo

Of what is and what will be”

How many times have I stood?

In between

Surrounded by darkness

Complete and incomplete

Knowing the truth about myself

Knowing the kind things

People I love and trust have told me

While still hearing the ugly voices

Screaming my every fault

Both imagined and real

Fact and fiction

How many times have I not been able to hold both inside?

How many times have I marched closer to the edge of a cliff?

From which there is no return

I’ve walked boldly off the edge

Into what I knew was my own death

Only to be yanked back

Kicking and screaming

To a life I did not want to live

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF

4 simple words

Just 4 words

Yet 16 years worth of pain anguish

Of joy and happiness

Of apathy and contentment

How many times has my inability to learn?

Brought me to the brink

To many

Far too many to count

It’s a hard lesson

One you never really stop learning

Some advice from me to you

Be kind to yourself

Forgive yourself

Be true to yourself

Do not apologize for looking out for yourself

Do what you need to do

Be who you need to be

Laugh and love unrepentantly

Let no one shame you for being happy

Let no one hold you back when you aren’t hurting others

If you being happy makes someone else angry

But it doesn’t hurt them

Get rid of them

Your worth is immeasurable

Your gift to the world

Is incalculable

You done know what it is

And neither does anyone else

Find the ones who cheer you on

And don’t let them go

Hold them tight

You never know how long they’ll be with you

For death comes like a thief in the night

Stealing away those you love

Before you know it

Live every day to the fullest

Live out my two new mottos

Memento Mori

Carpe Diem

Remember that you die

Seize the day

You only have one life

There is no other

Remember that you will fade away

And disappear

Live your life the best you can

Be all you can be

Shine like a star in the universe

Love yourself

Be kind to yourself

Forgive yourself when you fall and fail

When you find your cheerleaders don’t let them go

The quote is from a song titled “Creature” by the Band Half Alive listen to it it’s amazing.

Credit to Ashley Clement for the suggestion of “Loving Yourself”