Sometimes I cross a line

I didn’t know was there

Sometimes I sabotage myself

Oftentimes I drink to much

I dance back and forth across the line

Of heavy drinking and alcoholic

Sometimes I’m full of optimism but most often not

If you asked me why

As I often ask myself

I wouldn’t be able to answer why

Not for sure

They’re questions with no easy answers

For they run deep and cold

To the center of my soul

For all I’ve done and all I’ve tried

For all i have experienced

For all the medications i take

For all the doctors I see

I’m still broken inside

Always have been

But somehow this rugged ship

Full of holes and ablaze

Drifting in the dark

Continues to float

We continue onward and upward

Never ceasing

Except when we start to sink

Then the winds blow us backward

Then we patch our hole filled hold

With spite and hate

Stubbornness and refusal to believe

That this is the best or worst it can be

So onward we go bleeding from a thousand different cuts

Refusing to sink and refusing to die

Even when we try

To sink this damn ship

She refuses to die

And onward we press

To a destination we cannot fathom

This ship once built for dreams and hopes

Patched together now with nightmares and horror

Pain blood sweat and tears

Onward we sail

Promises made and promises broken

We sill can’t answer why

But on we go

Because to stop is to surrender

Surrender we might eventually

But promise made is never to be broken

Onward we go and onward we fall

Until we reach the end

One day we shall lol back and see the hidden shores

Biden reefs and currents

The hidden enemy’s we dodged

In the blackest nights

We shall look upon the Islam we finally reached and still

We won’t be able to answer why.

Credit given to Giovanni and the hired thugs for the song Can’t answer why along with Genesis Deleon. Who gave the suggestion.