Loving someone from far away(parasocially) is different than loving someone(intimately) up close and personal
You can love a musician you’ve never met, or anyone that you’ve never met really
But that’s love from afar and it’s easy
Because you’re not loving them up close and personal
Where you see all their flaws
Hear the same stories again and again
And have to listen to them chew loudly
The kind of love that’s shallow and simple
That doesn’t understand what it is
To plumb the depths of another person.
Theres a world of difference between loving someone closely and loving from afar
When you’re loving from afar
You are loving the idea of someone
Not the actual person
You are loving your version of them that doesn’t have flaws, and never talks back
A version that doesn’t exist
When you truly love someone, you need to love them up close
You need to see them flaws and all
Every little imperfection, and decide I love them anyways because they are perfections and imperfections all blended together into
A masterpiece that paints your sky
That’s true love
Seeing all the little flaws and imperfections and everything they do that drives you crazy
And saying to yourself that’s my best friend
That’s my wife/ girlfriend or whatever
Even with all of that
Loving someone up close is real
Loving an idea where you can’t see imperfections isn’t real it’s a fantasy and it won’t last
Loving someone like that, is to love a static image
Not the kind that grows, changes, and is more
You have to know someone to love them, and to truly love them, you must love them up close
Without that intimacy, it’s not love, not true lifegiving, breathtaking love
Just affections and lusts.
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I agree with this but also have a few friends I’ve not ever been in the same
Place with but talk to constantly and on phone and FaceTime and over many many years know their horrible flaws and annoying habits and know their secrets. We’ve eaten on FaceTime together, fallen asleep on phone and heard each other snore. Loving someone you see every day and they kick you occasionally on their sleep or sing Baby Shark in the shower as a grownup- that’s hard to love at moments and when you choose you can love someone who is a complete hot mess and hates drawer organizers so the silverware drawer is treacherous- that’s commitment. You chose this person every day and don’t kill them In their sleep.
Very true you can love someone from a distance and still love them closely. But close quarters love is a special kind of love. Also no silverware organizer?
Yeah… dangerous kitchen!