Walking Away

10 years and 8 months and I’m walking away

What causes someone to walk away from their life for the last 10 years

What causes someone to abandon the job they once loved

There are many reasons

Loss of faith in the administration

Loss of belief in the ever constant statement that things are getting better

Especially when you’re on the front lines watching things grow worse

When you watch new Officers come on who couldn’t care less

Who don’t hold themselves to a standard any standard

As you watch them let damn near anything go on

As they watch and do nothing

When you see Officers who do the bare minimum

Held to a lower standard that barely encompasses the minimum requirements

When Officers who do their job well are held to such a high standard

That they get chewed out for things that others get blind eyes turned towards

When blatant favoritism is shown in promotions

When there are so few standards of accountability that are held across the board

What makes someone walk away

What makes someone walk away with a heavy heart saying

I don’t want to leave but I don’t see things getting better

I’ve watched things grow worse

I don’t feel safe

I dread coming to work

Because others can’t or won’t do their jobs properly

Making my job harder than it needs to be

When they feel their own mental health deteriorating because this job they loved is wearing them down so much

When the career stops feeling like an achievement and more like a job

When you feel like no one has your back

When you start to ask yourself will I be okay when something happens not if

When you start feeling defeated as soon as you walk in the door

When the job that used to fill you with pride just fills you with dread instead

When you’ve lost faith in administration

When you question decisions made by captains on a daily basis

These are the things that made me walk away

From almost 11 years of service

Because my Happiness and my mental health won’t be sacrificed anymore

For a job that doesn’t care about me

These are some of the things that have driven me onto an uncertain path

Where I’m not sure where I’m going but I know it’s not here anymore

When I’ve written up several notices this year because the job was getting to me so much

That’s when I knew it was time to leave

That it was time to walk away

With a heavy heart I handed in my resignation

With a lighter heart I now wait for the last few days to fly be

Because I am at peace with my decision

Because it’s what’s best for me

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