Searching

I’m searching for

The right one

I’m searching for the person

I can belong to body and soul

I’m searching for the one God made for me

Who’s strengths match my weaknesses

And mine theirs

I’m searching but not hard

For I’m working on making

Myself worthy

Making myself as whole as I can be

Without an other half

I’m searching but not finding

Not giving up hope

For especially in this season

Of my life hope

Abounds

I used to live on spite

Now I live on hope

And force of will

Through the happy moments

And the bad

Through the joy and the pain

I think i’ve finally begun to find myself again

I like the person I’m trying to be

The person I’m becoming

More outgoing

More easygoing

More hopeful

More optimistic

Just all around better

Than I used to be

It’s a slow and hard process

But it’s been worth it

I left behind my career of 11 years

Because I didn’t like who it made me

I didn’t like me

I wasn’t happy

I was constantly angry

Pessimistic

And riddled with anxiety

But I’m working on myself

And I’m searching

Hoping and praying to find them