Not Butterflies but Tarantulas 

People say when you get nervous you have butterflies especially if it pertains to someone you’re interested in 

Me I don’t get butterflies 

I get tarantulas 

Crawling around in my stomach with their hairy spiky legs 

Tickling and prodding ready to pounce at any moment 

Feeding on should have been butterflies 

Made even more creepy and unsettling by the simple fact 

That I don’t like spiders 

And I fucking hate tarantulas 

So, excuse me if I’m uncomfortable when I talk to you if you’re a pretty woman 

I’m just having an existential crisis in my stomach 

Swearing I can really feel a tarantula climbing around  

Sometimes aggravating my insides 

Though I suppose it’s gotten better in a way I actually like little wolf spiders 

Though now it feels like hundreds of them 

Still not great but a damn sight better than tarantulas 

At least it’s no longer an existential crisis 

Do you have butterflies or spiders 

When I die burn my body so I can take all my spiders and existential crises with me 

It’s what the spiders don’t want  

Don’t let them win