Procrastination and Ambition 

I’ve always had an issue with procrastination and lack of ambition 

A problem which has only ever been exacerbated by my depression over the years 

But last year it found another foothold in my life with the loss of my Dad 

He was the biggest mountain in my skyline 

He was the Everest in my skyline

He the point to which i aspired and a driving force in my life 

He believed in me more than I believed in myself 

Especially when I didn’t believe in myself 

And always pushed me to be more to do more 

Like I wrote in his requiem “Without his presence our internal maps will all be a little foggy for a while as we lose a landmark that we could always reckon by” 

And for months I have been lost and my skyline has been empty 

And devoid of light 

I’m attempting to build my skyline back together into a semblance of what it was 

Through my memories and his words 

I’m trying to build back my driving force 

It’s been hard but I’m remembering my purpose and the faith he had in me 

To be all that I could be and more 

So I’m fighting back against the procrastination and lack of ambition once again 

Finally writing again and starting my second book 

That’ll be dedicated to him 

I finally know what i want to title it and what I want it to be 

So I’ll do it for him 

For me 

And for all the ones who feel left behind 

Abandoned  

And hopeless 

So, I’ll make  it “The Sword You Left Behind” 

And I’ll wield it well.   

For all those who can’t remember how to wield their own sword  

I’ll remind them.   

A big thanks to Stephen Schwartz and his suggestion which was a prompt from his game smalltown tales. Which can be found here Smalltown Tales and here.

https://schwartzgames.com/