Early Bird Early worm

It can’t be said that I’m an early bird

Nor an early worm

I’m not a night owl

I’m in bed by 10

Rarely asleep by 11

I’d classify myself

More as a permanently exhausted pigeon

With the heart of a lion

And the soul of an old man

I get up before the sun shines

Because I have to

But I don’t enjoy it nor do I look forward to it

So I remain the permanently exhausted pigeon

Neither alive nor dead when the sun rises

Neither asleep or awake when its time to go to bed

Always stuck in an infinite loop

Always stuck in limbo

I fight like a demon

Cause it’s all I know

I’ve spent my life fighting my demons

They keep me sharp

I can’t picture life without them

I wish I could

I think it’d be enjoyable

But they’ve been my boon companions for so long

They contribute to my permanently exhausted state

When you spend all day fighting your demons it’s hard to find

The strength to stand sometimes

When you’ve spent all day fighting

Ah when I was younger

I thought I was invincible

I thought I’d never be defeated

Now I know better

I’ve stumbled and fallen so many times

I’ve lost hope and gained it back

I’ve been an early bird

And a night owl by turn

But I think its all contributed to my current state

I feel like I’m tugged in different directions

Never to stay in one place

I’m a boat adrift on the sea

Anchorless and rudderless

Blown about by the wind and the waves

Searching for a land I never quite seem to find

Searching for rest for my weary bones

Searching for the respite I seek

Searching for a land full of promise

Without a fight around every bend

My fight has lessened

It’s grown more manageable

I’ve tasted that first sweet breath after the brink of death

After being pulled roughshod from deaths sweet embrace kicking and screaming

I’ve seen and tasted love

And learned while not undefeatable I’m one tough son of a bitch