Junk Ambition In Isolation

I was left to my own devices 

Many days fell away with nothing to show 

How am I going to be an optimist about this 

When left to my own devices 

I so often have nothing to show 

For the days left alone 

Grey clouds rising from the hills  

Darkness falls 

And I have nothing left to show for all the messes I’ve made  

While I was left to my own devices 

I’m getting better at battling the grey clouds rising from the hills 

But I still hate being left to my own devices 

Yet I hate being under the yoke 

Of someone else 

I hate having to listen to someone else tell me what to do 

Besides my employer 

But I struggle with being left to myself 

I struggle with a lack of ambition 

With a lack of focus 

So when I’m left to my own schemes and plans 

I accomplish so little 

I hate it but how to change it 

I’m not sure 

So I strike out attempting to craft ambition from a pile of junk 

Not sure how it’ll work out but junk made ambition 

Is worth more than no ambition