Litany of pain

What is existence

No one really has an accepted answer

For me I would say existence is a pain

A true litany of them in every sense of the word

Every day I struggle and fight against pain

Physical, emotional, mental, and psychological

My wrists hurt all the time, my ankles hurt, my fingers ache, my toes hurt

My joints hurt, my back hurts, my neck hurts

You name it, it hurts at some point in the day

Every day I am confronted with imagined pains of abandonment and loneliness

I say imagined because I’m not abandoned, nor am I truly alone

I struggle, wail, and rail against depression, and anxiety

My Life is a true litany of pain

I could recite it like a prayer but I see no point In it

I could let this define me

And I have before

I have succumbed to the idea that life is pain

And life is suffering before

But instead I choose to believe

Existence is really resistance

Resistance against all the forces trying to end you

Daily and hourly

Maybe that’s just me

But I choose to resist

I was born with a warrior’s heart

I’m not someone you should ever count as down and out

Time and time again when I should have given up

When I should have ended

Some force has refused to let me be

Has refused to let me give up entirely has refused to let my body succumb

So I surge ever onwards

Step by indomitable step

Through a litany of pain

Bleeding from a thousand cuts

Sometimes seeming more to myself like a machine than a man

I refuse to surrender

I refuse to go quietly

I refuse to let the litany of pain overtake me

Instead I spit in its face

Shouting here I am

Here am I

You’ve thrown everything but the kitchen sink at me

Yet still I continue on

Step by indomitable step

I am not just a soldier or a warrior

But a war machine

Built to bring hope I continue on

Spitting in the face of my litany

While trudging ever onwards

I walk step by step past those in the trenches

Showing stalwartness and steadfastness

Even though I suffer from a thousand cuts

And may yet suffer a thousand more

Facing an enemy who never tires and never falters

Who hungers for the lives of those in the trenches

Those I’ve sworn to give hope to

I continue on

Existence is resistance

Persistence, joy, and pain

Suffering, and happiness

It is all of these things and more

But only if you persist through the pain