Overcoming Isolation: The Giant Squid of Fear

My greatest fear is to be abandoned and left behind

That I will die alone and unloved

If I were to describe it as an entity that could be seen

It would be a giant octopus squid hybrid somehow able to

Float in the air

The body and amount of limbs of an octopus

The reach of a giant squid

With pale blue eyes  

Haunting and ethereal

With half of its arms wrapped around me

The other half would be used to swat at those

Who it deemed got too close to me

The arms wrapped around me are tight and suffocating

While its suckers leach my ability to trust and my energy

While it whispers and shouts by turn

Sweet, sweet oblivion in my ears

How I’m not loved and not worth the effort of getting to know

All the while the arms that aren’t wrapped around me

Swat away at those who get to close disguised as my own arms

The loneliness is suffocating

The lack of meaningful interactions

Is its own suffocating weight it pushes them away

It is endless as the ocean that spawned it

As massive as the dark heavens above

And as ancient as the stars themselves

Sometimes I know not where it ends, and I begin

As the years of our time together have passed on

The lines between us have blurred to the point of being non-existent

It is eternal and I am finite and there in lies my fear

Will it continue as I shrivel in despair?

Will it continue to grow into even more massive proportions?

Will it infect others with its innocent meaningless malice?

Will it one day blot the sun, moon, and stars from my view

How does one fight an entity that isn’t entirely separate

From one’s own self?

Thank are owed to Shane Morin for the suggestion of what does fear look like.