Too well

Honestly I’m afraid you know me too well

That I’ve fucked up and showed too much of my true self

Been a little too authentic

And now I fear you’ll run for the hills

Cause I’m kind of a lot

Even on my best day there’s still a lot to swallow

My natural state still tends towards asshole

Even though it’s getting better

I’m always afraid that people will run even when they’ve proven

That they won’t but that’s my cross to bear

As my self-confidence and self-esteem improves

I’m starting to realize the problem isn’t really with me

The problem is mostly with people I’ve put trust in before

Fickle human beings

Who are capricious in their whims

Who themselves are afraid of being truly known

It’s a terrifying and liberating thing all at the same time

To know someone fully

And to be known fully

In this day and age

We’re not used to that level of connection

It terrifies us to the depths of our souls

In this age of instant gratification

It’s hard to persevere in a relationship to get to that point when all

Around us we’re surrounded by superficial likes and clicks

It’s scary to show what’s underneath the surface when all we see

Is the superficial surface level thoughts of others

Those perfect veneers that they work so hard to maintain

That crack at the slightest hint of a storm

I’m afraid to let you know me just as you’re afraid to let me know you